Writer's Block

     As I sit here at 7:35 on a Sunday night, with essay's and presentations piling up in my mind, I've decided to come to this arbitrary website and, instead of doing work which desperately needs getting done, begin another futile attempt at procrastination. I've had a week to think about this presentation on "Jazz" by Toni Morrison, and have all the ideas already mapped out in my mind. 

What am I doing? 

I have so many things to get done, but so little desire to do them... Sometimes I think school is so meaningless; struggling for years in order to recieve a piece of paper that somehow defines you as a person that you either are or are not. I often times wish that I could be done with school. In actuality the degree means nothing to me. School is a stepping stone that I wish I could skip over; wasted time and energy. Thats all school is. Essays are used to gauge the level of understanding of a student in my major. Talking would be so much easier and efficient. A constant exchange of ideas, always evolving and redifined in conversations, are never adequately allowed when 300 students have to turn in essays to be read by 5 or 6 readers. A few glib comments and a grade is all that you receive for hours of work. What's the point?  

In Othello, Shakespeare critiques the sociatal pressures which are manifested in a man struggling to define himself. Othello seeks to claim an identity that he can neither understand nor determine. He constantly battles between two opposing viewpoints. Society sees only Othello's "blackness." Othello himself tries to build a reputation not defined by his skin, but rather his actions. However, neither representation is a true reflection of Othello. This is because Othello himself has no anchoring center in which to draw upon for a true identity. This lack of understanding of oneself is what ultimately leads to his destruction. The true tragedy of "Othello" is not the fact that he kills his wife. It is the fact that even in killing her, he is unable to find himself. Iago is responsible for many of Othello's actions. 

Trying to find a line in a jumbled mess of thoughts is often hard. Slowly an idea is narrowed down until it reaches a point. 

What does Desdemona represent?

What does Iago represent?

Othello is jealous of everyone? He is jealous of normality, because he can never achieve it. Therefore, killing Desdemona is the ultimate representation of the rejection of society. If he cannot fit in after being perfect, then he will isolate himself with his own hands. However, the isolation is due in part to Iago, and not truly of Othello's own design. The act is still in and of himself. Iago plants the seeds of doubt, but Othello is still the one who carries out the act.

Does killing Desdemona liberate Othello? In killing her, does he finally achieve an identity of his own? Is it better to have for himself this identity as a murderer, rather than the false identity that everyone sees him to have? An identity owned, however evil, is better than an identity given, however good? 

My head hurts.... 

Lack of sleep and too much thinking.....

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I went to see Toni Morrison speak two days ago. The experience was one that I'll probably never forget. Too many emotions and thoughts jumbled to express them all..... 

1. She is an amazingly intelligent and open person. She speaks in a language and tone which is both soothing and inviting. 

2. Her happiness is evident through her speech. She is neither pretentious nor humble. She is honest. She is herself. 

3. The process in which she writes is very interesting. Characters names and events are taken from experiences in her own life. She draws on her life experiences to better illustrate the problems her characters are going through. 

4. She is the mediator for the characters in her book. She is the medium. Through her, they speak. She does not put the words in their mouth, rather, they put the words into hers. 

5. The structure and architecture of her novels are important to the central ideas in her novels. The way a chapter is set up will give clues into the way in which she tries to define her story. In "A Mercy," the fact that there are on chapter headings, titles, or numbers, illustrate her need for the story to move along at a rapid pace, with few stops or blocks to get in the way of the reader and the story.

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"Jazz" presentation:

The book moves like a piece of music.

1. Lines flow together. The ending sentence of one chapter always flows into the first of the next.

2. Within chapters, passages will often retell the same event from multiple viewpoints. Much in the same way that a piece of music will reinvent the same patter of notes.

3. Ambiguity of words and phrases leaves it up to the reader to interpret what is meant by the words. Much like a piece of music, where it is up to the listener to interpret the meaning. 

What is the importance of the book?

1. Book has a strong sense of "casuality"

2. Does the music affect the people in the story, or do the people affect the music?

3. Each character within the novel seems to be attuned to one instrument. In all, they make up the band members of "jazz."

4. It is up to the people to alter their surroundings. Time does not change things. Doing things change things. 

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Free writer